December 2, 2017

A short while ago, through the convenient though sly medium of Facebook, I reconnected with a friend I haven’t seen or spoken to for over 20 years.

Much has changed for him in that time. I hardly recognise the new man. But is that because I’m seeing only his created images and written words? They are clues, sure, but we are not our art. When I see him, hear him or hug him, I might begin to know him again.


So I’ve been thinking about Friends with whom I’ve had consistent contact but haven’t seen or heard in a long time. The longer it is between meetings, the more fractured their reality becomes. I realised I’m always making assumptions about them, constructed from memories that I think still fit. A story of them.

It has unsettled me. My senses are what I have to perceive the world. Skewed as my perception might be, they’re a good start. I still want proximity.

It’s a conjuring trick, being a cyber friend. We post what we want the world to know, not what could be read in a glance or a touch or a tone of voice.





Conversation with Jordi

December 7, 2010

When my children were small and the bills were big, I never resented paying them, even if it had to be by installment. I was grateful for the modern conveniences – still am. I’m grateful to have the money to pay for them.

The telephone was my lifeline to the world – 2 voices across the distance.

Hot water on tap the greatest luxury every morning.

Warmth in the house and food in my belly have saved me from despair.


We’re spoiled for choice with ways to communicate really. So when the contact with someone diminishes it can be a surprise and sometimes it hurts. But we’re spoiled for choice in so many ways it’s a natural consequence that some connections will fall away. The beauty of it is, it’s easy to pick up the frayed end and repair any damage and cross that distance again.

Our dog Jordi is a social boy. He loves to have a chat in the morning. I’ve noticed that his vocabulary has increased heaps over time. Just like a child, he imitates my sounds and responds appropriately to inflections and body language and groups of words.

Sometimes my days are so full that our conversations are short and more or less one-sided before I dash off into the world. And then I remember what I miss. It takes time to renew that ease between us again.

Copy of jordi 2